Tranquillo, Tranquillo, Tranquillo

And of course, you can't say 'WTF! I am doing..... and I can't get to it right now". So you say "Hey, no problem! I'll get it done right now". Because if you don't, it may be --- no matter your history of achievement or level of work -- the last time you hear from that client. Because we're now in the age of point and click instant gratification. No one wants to wait. All things appear equal: Insurance, cars, chocolate bars, whatever you can mention, differentiation is difficult. There are a ton of over-qualified people out there who are capable of doing what you do....and probably much better.

So, when you're no longer sitting in Reno, NV cranking out code or product marketing innovations, but sitting on a beach in the south of France or Ibiza living the life of the ultimate Remote Employee, nothing really changes other than the weather and the location of the tienda, bar or cafe you frequent.

Not that being a Remote Employee or Travel to sexy locations isn't....sexy. But, things happen when we're not in our normal domain.

I'm very white. What I mean to say (isn't that I don't have an cool or soul) is that my skin is white. And it acts like a beacon of granular sugar whenever I'm outside or in a lighted room without 100% cover.

So, down here in Ecuador, I am a target of every type of predator. No where in any of the travel books does it discuss the local micro-mosquito or knatt except warnings or snakes and other poisonous/venomous creatures in the Amazon or the Oriente portion of Ecuador.

After the 1st day away from the major city of Guayaquil, I noticed that i had about 30 (exactly) bug bits around my ankles. By the end of my 2nd week here in Puerto Lopez, I began reviewing my Travel Health plan to see if suicide would be covered. My whole body is in pain as I write this. I have bug bites all over my legs, arms, stomach and back. There's no place on my body that doesn't have at least 50-75 bug bites. All big red welts and all incredibly painful in their own individuality.

So, I reviewed the remote health benefits to see that RX and emergency rooms are covered for "sudden onset" illness or accidents. Sudden onset means, for you at home, an accident or immediate illness that can be attributed to some causality.

I called the carrier (can't mention them without losing good friends) and was told that "No. Your condition is not covered. You may want to call the local Farmacia for local remedies".

So, essentially, buy some Benadryl and take a hike.

I spoke to the Farmacia and she immediately smelled "dinero, dinero, dinero" because she whipped out a $20 (and nothing in any store in Ecuador costs $20, especially anything in a bottle -- even alcohol) of some kind of Calamine lotion. And no it didn't work.

So, I spoke to a a cab driver who was taking me back to the hotel, where I could sit in the bathroom in pain, and he took me directly to the beach and told me to jump in. I thought he was being mean. But, he literally walked me to the ocean and urged me to get in.

And sure enough, in the water ....in my underwear....the salt of the ocean started to do it's work. I'm not saying it cured me 100%. More like 80%. But anything at that point was wonderful as I was losing my mind with the constant itching and pain.

You can't think of everything before you leave. And you prepare as much as you can. But sometimes all you need to do is go jump in the ocean.

If after reading this, you don't consider buying Travel Insurance, I can't help you.